Friday, May 16, 2008

Adam and Eve’s Lamb, Pork or Goat with Coriander


















And it came to pass that Adam and Eve sat on a goatskin, huddled naked in a cave. They shuddered from the sounds of the Lord God Jehovah’s wrath as it rained into the valley splitting trees and hurtling boulders. Adam could smell Eve’s hair, her skin, her quick frightened breath, feel her tremors.

They did not comprehend Jehovah’s words nor the reason for His anger. They were dismayed but aware that it had been caused by their new feelings for each other as they had become one within the beauty of their garden, its glorious warmth and succour.

They had not eaten an apple from the Tree of Knowledge. But they had made love. They were young in fact they were all the company they had, apart from The Lord who was away mostly. There was no serpent. The serpent was a metaphor. The author of Genesis knew that the words would be read to the children of Israel.

They had made love for a whole week, following some exploratory fumbles, while The Lord was away. He hadn’t told them they could not, well not exactly. He did say that they shouldn’t do anything He wouldn’t do. God was holy. No doubt about it. He wore an air of kindly benevolence. Until He found out. Then He went ballistic.

They had fallen asleep in Eden. The grass was soft, the sunlight filtered tin golden light hrough the leaves of fig and the aromatic Hasmesh, the doves softly cooed, white goats bleated, and to be frank they were exhausted, but blissfully happy. Then God lobbed in. They had been naked before but now they were entwined and naked, and they became ashamed in His gaze and tried to cover up with a fig leaf. It was mostly ineffective.

God let out a roar that froze waterfalls, stuck birds to the sky and cleaved a valley. Adam blamed it on Eve and said that he had been tempted. He immediately regretted saying it but it was done. God replied that he would put enmity between them, and between Adam’s offspring and hers. This was a bit puzzling but Adam let it go.

God spoke to Eve and said that he would greatly increase her pains in childbirth. As she had never had children this was another mystery. He also said that her desire would be for her husband and that he would rule over her. God did not foresee womens’ liberation, but hey, that was millenniums later.


[This Italian painting by Domenichino depicts Adam shrugging his shoulders and saying “She woulda tempted a blind man, eh she woulda tempted even you - nothing on you Lord….” And The Lord gives Adam the finger.]




The later biblical scholars, particularly those inclined to the theory of Intelligent Design date the ‘Fall of Mankind’ at about 6000BC. The oldest human skeleton is dated at about 4 million. Such discrepancy is dispelled by Faith. Faith is the essence of True Belief. Each religion has its own version of Faith. Faith is a gift from God. There are more gods than you can poke a stick at.


In his divine rage Jehovah ranted that the ground was now cursed, that Adam would painfully toil his days on earth, that weeds would spring up, thorns and thistles, but he would live off the land until he dropped dead and disintegrated to dust. Verily this was a setback.


In His divine anger He expelled them from the Garden of Eden and placed cherubim and a flaming sword, flashing back and forth, as a deterrent. His words fell like hot cinders on their backs as they stumbled into the valley of darkness. After some time, yea they found a goat trail leading to a cave, where we found them earlier.


It was stony damp, dark and cold with a whiff of urine and sulphur, when lo and behold a blue fire formed around a rock and a slim figure appeared before them. “Please allow me to introduce myself. Maximilian Price. Friends call me Max, or Pricey. I imagine you’re both a little upset and a trifle peeved? If it’s any consolation He can be a touch tetchy at times.”


Max Price carried a suave jaunty air. He was an indeterminate age, strangely neither old nor young in our terms, although Adam and Eve didn’t try to guess his age, after all they had just started humanity in Israel or Mesopotamia three weeks back, and had no idea of age; God just looked different…..


Pricey wore a suit of the finest cloth. I say this for your benefit reader, Adam and Eve had no concept of apparel, other than the goat skin God had thrown at them when they parted, which they now sat on. God Himself was sort of luminous.


“This is indeed a pleasure which, incidentally, I have been anticipating for some millenniums past. You must be Adam? Eve? Do call me Max. Max. Yes. Well….. you know… you can do all you can to please and believe me I have been there, where you are, perplexed by such prima donna behaviour which would indeed try a saint…. Ha ha, I mean really what did He expect? He gives you the dangly bits and expects angels? Well there’s the flaw in the design hey? Dangly bits have their own mind ha ha, it is an unrealistic expectation. You guys as the prototype are up the creek without the proverbial if you get my drift hmmm??”


Adam drew Eve closer.


“Look, I’ll give it to you straight. The Lord says I’m not to be trusted – if He’s likely to impart any advice that is…once he’s over His huff, heh heh…. He will tell you that I’m a black angel who was once his favourite but got ambitious for the top job, well hey what’s wrong with a little ambition? You can’t stay second fiddle for eternity. I’ve done my bit, I’ve put in my share. I’m known in other places as a decent chap. India? You’ve heard of India? No? Well over there humanity has a start in fact there are millions and those guys have rolled me in with one of their gods, Shiva I think, basically a good fellow, they love me but oh no not here, oh no, we have to be angels, squeaky clean, what’s wrong with a little raunch every now and then Eve, do you think?”


Eve looked away.


“Yes well, The Lord will tell you I’m a corrupter of souls which to be honest is absolute hogwash. He will tell you that you have free will, you are free agents and can make choices, except that you must make the right choice or you’ll end up in a locale undesirable for the rest of eternity. Look I’ll be straight with you before you start pumping away at humanity. Free choice is an illusion. You are what you are and can merely make one decision which is what you end up doing. You may think you have options, and you do, but being the person you are, there is only one choice. Let me introduce The Panel”


And it came to pass that before their eyes four figures appeareth. They were sitting, smiling with sparkling teeth, each with a hand on a buzzer. Adam and Eve knew not the buzzer, but I say that for you my reader, and Adam and Eve were startled and clung together and Max Price saw their shame and lo placed clothes upon them, which they found were soft and warm, and verily it put a smile on their faces.


“The Panel my dears is an ancient Greek concept and here we have four ancient Greeks who estimate your next move. Let me introduce Zeus, Persephone, Stavros and Maria. Stavros and Maria run a fish and chip emporium at the far end of Hades, melt in your mouth and the aroma is to die for ha ha. You may think of these folk as gods and they often think of themselves that way but in reality they are like you and I, well not I ha ha, but certainly thou.


“The sequence of events known as ‘history’ is recorded and understood by the concept of ‘time’. In fact all events have occurred and can be accessed at any point. Think of it as a flat picture, a cave drawing. The aim of The Panel is to have fun, with real live players, and how do they do it? They do it because they have your specifications, your characteristics, your DNA, your personality, and so given a set of circumstance, for example if Eve were to bear children, using the information they project what should happen in the future, in minutes, hours, days or years – the sex of the children, what she might name them and so on. Now, the score is greater the further the prediction. Fun? It’s more fun than you can poke a stick at. What? The estimate is checked against the actuality. What? So fun guys.”


Lo the anguish of The Lord then echoed into the Valley of Darkness and boulders boomed into the darkest chasms and shook the earth. The Panel disappeared. Adam drew Eve closer. Max Price’s dark figure filled the cave which became icy, glittering with stalactites like knives poised to strike. His voice hardened and ripped into the void. They covered their ears but verily they could hear. They covered their eyes but still they saw.


“I…I …will NOT be compromised nor praised by posterity. My shadow will cause the earth to groan in its burden of fear and destruction. My legions will roam the earth. Yea verily I will wrought such ill that even you Jehovah will tire of my vengeance. Awe will be my greeting, Woe my fortune and Death my legacy. I am random disorder. I am the Unwelcome Guest.”


Eve looked at Adam. “Shee-it. Heaveey eh Ads? This place is freezing my tits off. Whaddya reckon?” Max Price looked at Eve, then at Adam, then at Eve, stunned disbelief on his face as he slowly vanished, saying “You know……”


“Cripes Chicky Babe, just as well he pissed off. I was bored shitless eh? Could eat the crutch out of a low flyin’ duck.”


And it came to pass that Ads failed to score a low flying duck but lo he did leap upon an unwary goat and Eve found many herbs and stuff and it became a fine wholesome meal. In the fullness of time Ads (and Eve) begot Cain and Abel who were wayward youths with a liking for herbs and stuff. Verily after a night on the turps Cain slew Abel. Shit happens.


In accordance with Genesis 5.5 Ads lived to a ripe old 930 but had separated from Eve 903 years before. Eve married Mario of whom she had been carnally familiar and had 25 children and 102 grandkids. Eve was rapt. Ads married Kiralee 903 years back, she was 6 years younger and spunky as, eh? Kiralee bore Ads 4 children: Little Ads, Kezza, Stevie and Jack and became less spunky after each one. Lo she found Ads was in an adulterous relationship with That Bitch Lenore “Hey, call me Lennie” and so left him for Nicko of whom she had been carnally familiar on occasion usually Christmas parties. She kept the boys and Adam kept Lenore which lasted for 10 years before Lennie left Ads for Todd “Let me turn your lights on babe” The Electrician.


And so the Earth spun around with neither favour nor malice in tune with the nature of this particular existence. The Panel played their game unbeknownst to anyone, always smiling. Adam and his seed stumbled and fumbled onward as humanity increased, making mistakes, making progeny, dying, waging wars, and occasionally being beset with natural disasters, plagues, pestilence, famine, flood and other population reducing inconveniences. In early years it was believed that the Lord God Jehovah launched these initiatives at mankind, to teach respect, or in recognition of the errors of their ways. Later humanity following arguments by Dawkins and Hitchens, among others, generally regarded religion as superstition and mythology and it became clear that no superior celestial being, if there were any, had any interest whatsoever, beneficial or malicious. Except maybe Batman. Shit happens.






The Recipe


The recipe which commences “if you are hungry, catch a slow goat” has long since gone. So, I have appropriated an excellent Sri Lankan recipe to tack onto my story. Of course it has been modified to my taste. Folk culture, whether cuisine, music or other art benefits from interaction, and is reborn. You can substitute lamb, pork or beef for goat meat, in fact adapt to your own taste.


Finely grind the following spices:


2 tsp brown mustard seeds
½ teaspoon whole peppercorns
3 tbls coriander seeds
2 cloves


Grind or blend the following:


1/4 medium Spanish red onion
½ inch piece ginger
3 medium cloves garlic
4 coriander roots
2 small hot chillies, red or green


Heat 3 tablespoons of oil – corn, macadamia, olive or peanut – to medium and add


1 medium cinnamon stick
2 whole cardamom pods (crushed to put a split in pod)
2 bay leaves
½ kilo approximately (can be more) lamb, goat, pork or beef


Sear the meat quickly. Add the spices from the first bracket. Fry for 1 minute. Add the 2nd bracket. Fry for 5 minutes.


Add 1 cup good dry white wine and 1 cup water, 1 tsp lemon juice, 2 tablespoons Thai or Vietnamese fish sauce and 1 tsp salt.


Cover and cook on low heat - 90 mins for beef, 60 minutes for goat, lamb or pork. Add 2 chopped coriander plants and 270 ml tin of coconut cream.
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Thursday, May 01, 2008











The 19th annual Byron Bay Bluesfest was held at Bilongal Fields. A definite venue improvement, being about five times the acreage of Red Devil Park. Each area self contained with foodstalls, bars and toilets. No leakage of sound, there was space to relax and a pleasant walk between venues. The photo shows Len swamped once again by local beauties who appeared to enjoy the company of the urbane gent in the jaunty panama.

Many more super photos of the Bluesfest can be found at my Picasa site http://picasaweb.google.com/barry.mcgloin

The Weather. What? No rain apart from one morning at 07:00 when it fell in torrents as we headed for the showers, beautiful to experience but following that... just sunshine, warm balmy ocean embalming sea spray days.

During this year of the drought The Len had turned his attention to upgrading our mobility, sleepability and cookability, which had bugger all to to with the drought but this Vision had brought forth pushbikes, camp beds and a portable burner and frying pan. Wow, Len and I we were mobile, we could sleep well and eat well. Thank you Len, we said. Just 5 minutes into town zooming along the bike path, dive into the ocean to catch a wave or two, then up to the splendid beachfront cafe for a blues brekkie of the Full Goriller for Len, eggs Benny with salmon or the Turkish brekkie for me, the morning newspapers and chai tea to accommodate the Indian within. Om. Alternatively we could cycle back to the tent for the big fryup of eggs, bacon, tomato, mushrooms and the gourmet sausage. Then maybe back into town to place a bet or two on the gee gees, if one was thus inclined. Where? The Great Northern of course, where one could sup on a Guinness, Coopers or any exotic variety of uplifting liquid to inspire your choice of losing nag. And mate, was Len inspired.

Our fellow Bluester Paddy could only make it for the final day this year, the big fella was crook following his NZ cricket tour and St Pat’s Day. He was debilitated but dogged, off the booze and loping through the dry Monday like an Irish setter chasing shadows.



The Music.
It was impossible to see all acts, so the strategy was to see those we had both picked. Mostly this worked, although somehow Len missed Hat Fitz but that was down to some confusion over the venue, and if you go to the wrong venue it can be a long trot to the right one....so you may as well stay where you are. As Len points out below, there were approximately 120 acts, and unless you can clone yourself you can only see (and give yourself enough time to enjoy) about one fifth of what is available.

Acts that could have been? Well where was C.W. Stoneking (with his band)? Where were the Kings of Leon? Where was Tinariwen, Salif Keita, Ska Cubano, Detroit Cobras, Dropkick Murphys, Natasha Atlas, Neville Bros, Susheela Raman, The Pogues, Hazmut Modine, Legendary Shack Shakers, Artic Monkeys, Franz Ferdinand, C C Adcock, Little Richard, Keef, Ronnie, Graham Parker, Elvis Costello, Chisel, Oils....... Buddy Holly?? Well.....all right, we did fine.


The notes below are my assessments in order of preference of those we saw.....well Len didn’t see Hat as mentioned, because he became disoriented in a bar...... These are followed by Len’s ratings which have been calculated using The Len Rating Scale, his sure fire method which nails a performance into it’s appointed spot.



Hat Fitz & Itchy The Juke Joint was chokers with about half the outside area also full. The atmosphere was hot, sweaty and intense as The Hat and Itchy seared the air with their intense, manic performance. It was unbelievable, such rhythmic power, the audience jumping and clapping, this was the G spot of rock, the absolute essence. It was as close as you might dare to imagine Son House, Charlie Patton or Robert Johnson in a 1930s juke joint. Unlike US roots performer Seasick Steve, Hat doesn’t spice up the show with patter, in fact in a rare moment of soul searching he commented “Errr, you might notice that I don’t talk as much as some…… that’s because I’ve got nothin’ intelligent to say…..”


Guy Davis. We were drawn to Guy’s two performances - I'd caught him two weeks previously in Canberra, an excellent guitarist, banjo and harmonica player and vocalist – and mostly his own material – such a fabulous entertainer using his acting skills well. Much sexual metaphor, double entendre, which is traditionally part of the genre plus Guy’s added mannerisms and facial expressions made for very entertaining performances. I wondered though whether such caricature bothered such a proud intelligent man.

Collard Greens and Gravy These guys are at the roots end of the scale, like Hat and Guy, the soul of this festival for me. This is real music - no frills, swamp boogie and deep blues played with consummate art and conviction. Ian Collard is a virtuoso harp player with Shortie Shortte a fine drummer and James Bridges an excellent understated guitarist.

Kate Miller-Heidke I had no idea or expectation here. Wow!! I was mesmerised. This girl abounds in talent with her operatic voice and spiky wit, supported by a top band. They covered the John Farnham OZ hit ‘You’re The voice’ and knocked us out, I couldn’t believe the arrangement - it was sooooo good. The audience went bananas.

The Lost Dogs.


The open warm personality of Kasey Chambers, here in The Lost Dogs linking her musicianship with husband Shane Nicholson and her father, Bill Chambers. This was quite a surprise, these blue ribbon country musicians doing choice covers like they're sitting on a verandah; 'Dirt Music' in the words of Tim Winton, relaxed and rich. The Tom Waits song 'Big in Japan' was superb.

Seasick Steve US entertainer Seasick Steve is a big character, slugging from his “stage prop” his earthy amusing patter kept the crowd enthralled in fact word must have got around because the second performance was chokers. Similar in the style of Hat Fitz ie early country blues though not quite as manic



Sinead O’Connor the beautiful bald bold banshee from Ballytown graced the stage and boy can she sing. Mother of four ( maybe another on the way?) she took us through her mighty repertoire including three fab new songs from Theology. The only song which didn’t come off for me was Mandingo from The Lion & The Cobra (her great first album). It was a treat to see this artist in action.


Ruthie Foster another gutsy female with lots of presence. Ruthie sang her heart out, blues and gospel, the crowd loved her as did Len and I.

Damien Dempsey supporting Sinead on her tour the ‘security guard’ from North Dublin was surprisingly good, he reminded me of a young Christy Moore. Like Moore he’s political, passionate and writes good material (the first we’d heard of him, very impressive). The Irish contingent in the audience proudly displayed the Irish flag and were yelling encouragement and for favourites – great to see!!

John Fogerty the star of the festival for most. The old Foggo didn’t let us down, apart from one number where his guitar was either out of tune, or someone was playing in the wrong key. He trotted out all hits together with equally good numbers from the new album. Best for me was Centrefields’ Old Man Down The Road. I would have loved Susie Q backed by Spell on You, as he performed them on the live CD ‘Premonition’, and Run Through the Jungle’ but ya can’t have everything. He gave the crowd more than their money’s worth

John Hiatt won best dressed award of the Bluesfest, you’d reckon such a good songwriter could afford at least a Fogerty checked shirt !!

John Hammond a legend with an impeccable line coming straight from Robert Johnson, through Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix, Ry Cooder, this man is a consummate performer. His last CD 'Push Comes to Shove' is so good - on a par with 'Wicked Grin' and I would have loved to see him perform with the band but he does it so well solo.




GOCOO & GoRo very entertaining Japanese percussion, flute, synth

Loudon Wainwright 111 a feisty performer, you wouldn’t want to be the sound guy, imperious and arrogant yet he puts out great songs. His daughter Lucy Wainwright Roche joined him for two songs, also a fine voice in the family tradition – Martha Wainwright was superb last year – refer my review.

Boyes,Brill & Dellgrosso I caught about 15 minutes – you can’t see everyone - but what I did see and hear was damned fine. Rodrigo and Gabriela as usual astounded their audience.

John Cleary & the Abbsolute Monster Gentlemen from N’Awlins, very funky with Cleary doing a wonderful ‘Tipitina’

Jools Holland & Orchestra you don’t get to hear jump blues often - great to hear this big band swing, albeit for 20 minutes...

Wilco are a top favourite of Len, they didn’t twiddle my knobs much at all. Admittedly the band took off a couple of times with their impressive, albeit ostentatious lead guitarist

Ray Davies the Absolute Lege. I’m a huge Kinks fan, love their stuff, but I caught Ray after Hat’s superb gig, and here was the old trouper doing a karaoke ‘Lola’ which I assumed was his last number, and he was struggling with staying in tune I thought, like the disappointing Royal performance of a couple of years back, so being fatigued from the day's doings we walked back to the tent…. and heard him belt out all the old favourites, sounding spot on....should have stayed

Mamadou Diabate was entrancing on the kora. Yunasi, The Cat Empire, The Audreys, Charlie Muswellwhite and Jeff Lang were all good. The Cruel Sea were also good, but I was expecting much more, and Don MacLean, well…….. not really a disappointment because I wasn’t expecting much although I saw Don perform a free concert in Hyde Park, London in 1974 and he was good back then and the park was packed, but now he’s somewhat Las Vegas, although I was pleased that he started with a couple of Buddy Holly songs.

Len's Picks

Bazza ok, I have reviewed my scratch ratings from the worn schedules I kept, given it some more thought, rapped it around a rating scale and here is the result; ratings for all Artists seen in entirety:
Sinead O'Connor 10.00 John Fogerty 9.95 Wilco 9.90 John Hiatt 9.85
Collard Greens & Gravy 9.80 Ruthie Foster 9.75 The Lost Dogs 9.70
Damien Dempsey 9.65 Guy Davis 9.60 Seasick Steve 9.55 Rodrigo y Gabriela 9.50
GOCOO + GoRo 9.45 Jeff Martin 9.40 Loudon Wainwright III 9.35 Jon Cleary 9.30
Ray Davies 9.25 John Hammond 9.20 Mamadou Diabate 9.15 Jools Holland & His Rhythm and Blues Orchestra 9.10 Jeff Lang 9.05 Charlie Musselwhite 9.00 Will Conner 8.50
Hollie Smith 8.00 The Cruel Sea 8.00 JJ Grey & Mofro 7.00 Don McLean 5.00

Unfortunately, I was only able to see about 25% in depth. There were about 120 acts over the 5 days and I saw the above 26 artists. I was able to see a couple of songs from about another 10 acts but not enough to rate them fairly.

  Drowning in Blue “ Ever had one of those moments when you flip down the sunvisor and a huntsman drops into your lap? Guess who I bum...